Sorry

I'm sorry that I haven't been on here awhile. I've been a little busy. I was gettin ready to go on vacation to Canada. So that was kinda hard. I can't really move around very good anymore. I'm dealing with it though. I talked to my brother Mike the other day. He said that his friends didn't really understand what was going on with me. So I'm gonna try to explain what I at least know. It all started in Sept of last year. Towards the end of the month I noticed that my left ear I couldn't hear as much as as I used to. So i went to stat care. They said it was probably pressure on the ear gave me a prescription. So I took it It didn't seem to do anything. So I just blew it off for awhile. Then I notice I woke up one day I couldn't put my hair up in a pony tail I didn't have the strength. That really was weird. Then I started losing muscle in my arms. and losing weight. I already was under my weight for my height any way. So my neck and back started hurting really ad. I thought maybe I'd go see a Chiropractor. It seemed to start working. My neck pain wasn't as bad. But I was getting worst. by Dec I lost 15-20 lbs everyone thought I was bulimic They were getting pretty upset with me telling me I should eat. I told them I was but I wasn't gaining any weight. I was having trouble swallowing and It made it difficult to eat. By New year's it was hard for me to even walk straight I was really dizzy and started seeing double. But I didn't tell anyone. I continued to hide this. My balance was getting worst too. My sister in law took me to the Emergency Room they said all my tests came back okay. That I needed to talk to someone about my weight. That was it. So I decided to just try to start eating more. Then I decided to get my eyes checked out cause I was havin trouble seeing like I used too. They were fine. Then I made an appointment to get my ear checked. The doctor did a hearing test on me. He come in asked me if I really did the test like I was lying about it. I said the results you got are what I could hear. Well he was really surprised about it. He said my test was really off the chart. So he suggested I get a balance test done. And said with my other symtoms that maybe I had a tumour on my brain to get a MRI. So went back to get a balance test. He couldn't do it cause I had an ear infection in my right ear. He seen how I was gradually getting worst told me I should just get an MRI. So scheduled that. Got that done he went over the results with me said he didn't see anything so. He recommended that I go see a neurologist. so he set me up with him. Got an appointment. Seen him he ran all these test on me. Cat Scans of my brain,neck, and chest. nothing showed up. Did a spinal tap. an Anti- Hu showed up. That he explained was associated with cancer mainly Lung. So that's why he did a chest cat- Scan. Nothing showed up. So he got me into mercy Medical. They said they were gonna look into my Bowels see if anything was there. They did a ct-scan on my belly.and were gonna do a scope to look into my throat and stomach. So they did the Scope. They said my stomach had Gastritis. was pretty adjusted. But never did a colonoscopy. Then they had 2 different Cancer Doctors look at me they said it didn't look like Cancer. They ended up. More less telling me to see a Physiologist that it was in my head. and I just needed physical therapy. Then my Mom and cousin took me to Cleveland Clinic Emergency Room. They looked over me said that I needed to see the neurologist team there. to have all my scans to take with me. I was to get more blood work and an EMG test done again. So we went to see her. Got all that done. She still had no clue what was causing any of this except it was all was related to this Anti Hu. Then she order this injection to be done 5X's and that didn't do anything. So this is basically where I'm at now. I can only walk with a walker. And my strength is still the same I used my right hand more so it's a little stronger. My balance is really bad anymore. My dizziness isn't bad like it once was but That could be I've learned to deal with it. My swallowing has gotten worst. I can't eat or drink like I was. So I've lost weight again down to 100lbs again. I'm trying to eat but I just can't It gets really frustrating cause I really want to pig out I just can't. I'm hanging in there that's all I can do. I'm not giving up. I want to fight this and beat this and I will I pray to GOD =. Everyday sometimes 3 to 4 times a day. I know He can help me He already has gotten me this far us together. We won't give up. I've gone to far to just give up now. I have three children that watch me. So I know that I'm a teacher to them. So I keep truckin along. I love them with all my heart and I will be here to see them grow up. And someday have a family of there own. I want to be a grandma someday. I will not miss that. Any who. I had more cat-scans done on Thursday. So waiting to see if that comes back with bad but good news. I hope they find something cause then I can know what I'm dealing with and fight this. So keep your fingers crossed PLEASE. Love all Take care.

Been along time

Hey everyone. Sorry haven't been on a while. I've been kinda busy with all three of my kids. Had the boys all last week. They are a hand full but they really help me out though. Any who i went to that Doc in New castle, Pa. We were there for 4 hours. He com in talked for 2 Min's. He said their was nothing he could do for me. So we left. I was so aggravated when I left there. it was basically a wasted trip. Plus Floyd took off work to take me there. I felt so bad. I'm so confused and helpless right now. I just don't understand why? I'm not feeling sorry for myself I just don't understand. That's really hard when you can't just have the problem fixed. My Doctor called on Friday, the one from Cleveland Clinic. She said she's pretty much still puzzled over this situation. She really thinks that the anti hue antibody I have is the cause for everything I'm going through. She wants me to redo my Cat Scan. cause it's been 6 months since I've had that done. I really hope something shows up on it so we can figure this out then fix the problem then hopefully i can move and function like I'm suppose too. I just want to walk and run around like I used to man do i miss that. The saying is right you don't know what you got till it's gone. I'm going to cherish everything in my life for now on cause you just never know. I'm hoping everything works out for me soon. Peace talk at ya later.

Another Day In Sarah's Life

I'm going to the dentist today to fix my front teeth. I fell about 2 months ago,out on my back patio. I fell and hit my mouth off of bricks. I smashed my mouth pretty good and broke one of my front teeth. so any way I'm going to get my caps put on today. And on the 26Th I'll get my permanent ones put on. Hopefully I'll be more careful and not fall again. This last time really had me scared. To any one that don't know my problems I'll go through them. First I have little strength in my left arm. My right is a little stronger. For the most part I have little upper body strength.I also have severe balance problem. Also vertigo,and hearing loss in my left ear,It's almost gone. I've also experiencing swallowing problems. I have lost about 30lbs. I'm really weak. I was using a cane, but up graded to a walker. Which I call my Cadillac lol. I'm thinking of getting an electric scooter. So I can go down town and go out side more. I'm trying to stay positive about this all,it's really hard at times. I want answers. I'm very impatient. I always have been. but I'm really impatient now. The only thing keeping me going is my family and my friends. I imagine everyday what it would be like just to get out of bed and be back to normal. I pray everyday for that miracle. I once took advantage of life. Not any more. I really need to look at life at what it is and that is it's so precious, wonderful,exciting,hard,sad,overwhelming,
awesome. Basically life is pretty much what you make it. Somethings you can change,somethings you can't.We all have roads we travel down in life. We can choose between what we should do and what God would guide us too. It's up too us to decide.

LOOKING INTO OTHER OPTIONS

I'm going to see another Doctor in a week. I'm hoping he can figure something out. But their all just humans too. I think we put allot of faith in them to figure things out when. We should put more effort into helping our selves. I'm really considering Stem cell treatments. I've been researching it for a couple of months now. I think it's a pretty good option for me. If I decide I'm going to do this. I'm going to set up a fund raiser to come up with the money too help cover this treatment. It cost allot of money to do this treatment. The USA doesn't allow this treatment to be done yet. So you have to go out of the country. If there is any way to get me back where I was. I'm not ready to die and I'm going to find some way to save my life. If this was any one that I knew was going through something so horrible like this. I'd find any way of helping them. I love my life and everything that goes with it and I'm not settling for less. I will fight this. I can't let this win. So with this said I'm going to be much stronger then I have ever been. Life will go on for me. I'm going to be myself again and hopefully soon.

Hard Times

We all have had hard times. But did you ever feel like you were the only one? Well sometimes I think that even though I know it's not true. Well yesterday I got in this frame of mind that I was going to go driving. I know I'm crazy. but I really miss it. I love to drive. It's so hard just to sit around the house and really do nothing. I always wondered what it would be like just to relax not have to do anything. And now I know. It was okay at first, but now it's really boring. I can only get on the computer so many times a day. Watch TV only so much. If I could do something else I would. I really learned allot from this. I sit and wonder if that's why I'm going through this. But I'm not the only one My son's and My husband is going through this too. I not only have to be strong for me I need to be strong for them too. I sit and think about all the times I told my son I was too busy to play with him or I couldn't do this or that. I wish I could do that now. Maybe I needed to stop look at my life and change allot of things about it. I used to complain about allot of petty stuff. I took advantage of allot of things in life. This is definitely a wake up call. I know I can't be perfect. But I need to focus on life and what it means to me. I really want to live life to it's fullest. I need to get better not just for me but for my son and my step sons too. They all look at me for support and to show them how to be good men one day. We went to dairy queen the other day and we all had cheese burgers. And Floyd commented this one of the best burgers I had in along time. Don't you boys think? And Zach said no I think mom's cheese burgers are better. I just smiled I was so happy he said that. That's one thing I do miss cooking allot. I love too cook. Baking I'm not really good at I can but not as good as cooking. I really didn't know how until I got with Floyd, He was really easy too cook for he'll eat just about anything. I guess that's why I'm not so picky any more. Well I talked to a very Important person yesterday and the conversation we had was very helpful. I'm very happy, proud and honored to have this special person in my life. always knows how to cheer me up. I really appreciate that. It's nice to no I have that person you can count on. Even when there so far away. You know who you are THANKS. Too all of you that support me through this thanks bunches. I always need that reminder that I have a allot of loved ones out there. Words can't explain how much it means too me. love ya

Another Day

Hello everyone another beautiful day. I had a pretty good day yesterday. Hung out with my husband all day. We had no kids for most of the day. That doesn't happen much at all. But that's why were parents. We love being with them any way. Someday they'll go threw that stage they'll want nothing to do with us. So enjoy now. Well great news At least to me. I'm going to see another Doctor on June 16Th. I hope he will listen to me. I'm really trying to understand all the symptoms my body is going through. So hopefully I can explain myself allot better. Where he'lll understand it. I really don't think, I've been explaining it very good. Not getting out the right info at the right time. I'm so ready to figure this out. I know I can get better once we can figure this out. I just want my life back to the way It was before all of this, at least physically happened to me. I have learned so much from this experience. Atleast I hope it's an experience. So hopefully at least I got a new outlook on life. You don't focus on things that really mean allot to you. Unless you go through something like this. I just want you all to know. Enjoy everyday you have. Even when you have a hard day. think about what you have. Not what you don't have. Life it's self is precious. Be happy. It's hard to when you are going through something you don't know anything about but, trust me it's better then being mad at the world. This has taken a mental wow on me . I fight it everyday. but in the end I have to think of all my family and friends that help me through all of this Hopefully. i can come visit you all soon once I fight this.

Summer Break

Well yesterday was the last day of school for Kyler. He's excited for Summer. i can't believe it's already June. That's crazy. Me myself it's taken forever but that's just because I want answers. Anywho I'm sending all my medical records to this new doctor in Pittsburgh Hopefully he can look at everything and shed some light on this whole thing. I just want to know what I'm dealing with that way they can find ways to fix my problem. I exercised my legs and arms yesterday it seemed to help a little. I'm going to continue to exercise them . Will see what happens. Well I can't believe we have a 5Th grader, a 2ND grader,and a 1st grader, all this Fall. Wow does the years fly by. Well I keep ya posted my son Kyler wants to play on the Computer. So ta ta for now